ARE YOU KIDDING ME????
Okay. So that was my rant for the day. But please tell me that I am not alone in feeling like this every once in a while. The struggles and demands of life, and the lack of time that there is in a day, can be exhaustingly overwhelming. A good friend of mine told me that her newest philosophy is "to take things one at a time". She tries to focus on the small steps necessary to make it through the day. I do find this method significantly less stressful, but there are times when I look at all that needs to be accomplished and find myself stuck, unable to move forward and finish any of them.
It definitely doesn't help that I am a chronic procrastinator (to use a term my cousin coined), and therefore all of my tasks simply pile up just before a deadline. Since there is no cure for my condition, I have to be able to do the work, and train myself to be better motivated. Alas, completing the action I just described is also something that I procrastinate doing. This doesn't mean that I'm not a good worker! NO! Once I am rolling on a task it not only gets finished but is concluded to the best of my abilities and possible talent. The getting started part is the only issue.
There are many things that I wish to do with my time, and I am not a person who typically says "No". Obviously this fills my days with many activities. As a naturally outgoing person I have never taken issue with this aspect of myself. However, when my own groundedness started to slip away in order to maintain this lifestyle, I knew that I had to make a shift. This summer I have tried to practice turning down offers to do things. Not that I don't want to partake, just that I couldn't always be torn in different directions. What has been the result of my quest for inner peace this summer? I still have a long way to go... but I'm getting better!
All of us go through ups and downs, this is inevitable. In the end we must walk through this life at peace with only ourself. I mean, I can't escape my own body, so I had better get to know myself pretty well! A song I love by Regina Spektor says this:
"No, this is how it works. You peer inside yourself. You take the things you like, and try to love the things you took. And then you take that love you made and stick it into some, someone else's heart, pumping someone else's blood."I strive for this. I will my whole life. The great thing about it is that life is art, and a work of art is never finished. So there is no deadline, or crunch time, and therefore in this scenario procrastination doesn't exist.
Lastly, for a blog post that had no ending when I started, I think this turned out pretty well :)